I thought that being honest with myself about the various short straws that life had dealt me was part of knowing myself and knowing my own troubles would lead to a better attitude, dispelling my depression, and hopefully a better social life and a better job. I kept journals where I wrote a lot of these frustrations down, and would have long chats with old friends in pubs about how the world had gone to hell in a hand basket.
Thinking and reading about these things and analyzing them seemed to me to be a way to know what to do about them. This sounds very reasonable, but just reading about what sort of experiences and ideas create problems, and methods for dealing with them isn't the same as actually doing something about them. Here is what Dr. Abraham Low has to say about trying to learn your way out of confusion:
Did that perchance mean that her mind was slipping? Confusion was with her all the time, in every place, on all occasions. If she only knew what it all meant. If she could only understand. This was her state of mind when I first saw her. Every fiber in her ached to get understanding, to be shown what was right and what wrong, to escape her doubts, to relieve her ignorance. And doubts can be cured, she thought, by explanations, ignorance through knowledge. That called obviously for teaching, discussion, exploration and talk. In this, Gertrude acted the part of the intellectual. It is the intellectual's way of thinking that problems, issues and perplexities are the result of ignorance, and the proper remedy is education which he calls enlightenment. Confusion, reasons the intellectual, is created by darkness, and darkness is dispelled by light, and once the individual "sees the light" impulses become docile and sensations turn reasonable. The scheme, I admit, is easy to understand; it represents the purest logic and the most attractive reasoning. But does it work? Is it successful?
But does it work? Is it successful? Can we cure doubts and confusion with knowledge and explanations?
Low's question is rhetorical, and I agree with his subsequent explanation that teaching and knowledge do not provide a cure for nervous afflictions. It's taken me a long time to appreciate the idea. I was a university student for many years, I collected several diplomas and believed that knowledge was the cure for confusion. I no longer believe this, at least insofar as mental health is concerned. Knowledge and information have their place, but there are many problems that will never be solved just by reading, thinking and reflecting.
In Recovery meetings we spend 1/2 of the time reading a chapter from Dr. Abraham Low's book and we spend the other 1/2 of the time discussing examples. An example is an illustration of the use of his method. All members are encouraged to practice the Recovery method between meetings in order to have the experience of being aware of temper.
An example is a scenario where a group member relates how they worked themselves up. The group member describes both the physical sensations and internal thoughts they had during the situation, explaining how they took notice of their temperamental or emotional state and what they did to remain civil and handle the situation.
The other members participate by trying to understand the process that the person presenting the example had to go through in order to manage their temper and express their feelings. Every attendee takes a role, one person reads through the steps for reporting an example, another member "takes" the example by acting as referee and ensuring that everyone stays on track, the rest of the attendees take turns spotting on the example by explaining which tools are relevant. The procedure is intentionally repetitive and formulaic. After several meetings members start to memorize the tools and think automatically about which situations are the sort that will tend to result in an angry or fearful response and what to do when those situations arise. Dr. Low writes:
That the brain receives the greater part of its knowledge from the muscles ought to be plain to anyone who is not blinded by the glamor of fanciful theories. Knowledge means experience, and the bulk of our experience stems from our actions, and our actions are carried out by our muscles mainly. I do not wish to deny that a great deal of experience is gathered from vision and hearing, touch, smell and taste. But the type of knowledge secured from these sources is chiefly informative. Practical knowledge, the knowledge of how to behave, of what to do at a certain time in a given situation comes to you from acting and practicing, that is, from the activity of your muscles. With regard to that variety of knowledge and experience that tells you what to do and what not to do there can be hardly any doubt that the muscles are pre-eminently the teachers and educators of the brain.
The Recovery method is presented by Dr. Low as a learned skill like bicycle riding. He argues, in a very literal fashion, that your muscles will teach your brain. You can read about the gyroscopic principles of circular motion and how a bicycle remains stable and balanced while moving despite standing on just two wheels, but until you get on a bicycle and try to ride it none of this information is helpful. Understanding the physics of gyroscopes isn't either a sufficient or a necessary condition for being able to ride the bicycle. Practice and repetition are what is needed.
While I have changed my mind about how to approach mental health issues, and I no longer treat myself as a puzzle that needs investigation, that hasn't made it easy all of a sudden. Practice takes time and repetition and effort, and while the recommendation is simple it is not easy.
I keep attending Recovery meeting because they give me a good place to practice spotting my tempers, and thinking through the common traps that we all fall into. If you'd like to join us we meet Tuesdays at 7:30pm.
